Two Steps Behind
by liadra
Summary: Post episode 3.15. Kate is trying to apologize for sleeping with Sawyer. Jack is pretending he doesn't care. Until she pushes him to a point, he can't hold back any longer. Including smut, of course!
1. Chapter 1

_**Authors note: **_

_First of all, I have to admit that __English is not my native language and that this is the first fic I wrote in English and also my first fic with tons of smut. But during the last weeks I had so much fun reading some stories on this board, especially the smutty parts (Oh, what can I say??), so I really, really wanted to try it by myself. _

_I have no problems in reading and understanding__ English. But writing is, well something different. And I am really afraid, I totally screwed it up. To be honest, I have no idea what I exactly have done. I probably made a lot of mistakes. I guess I mixed up the tenses sometimes and I am afraid I used some words on some places where they simply don't fit, not forget to mention - sounding terribly weird sometimes.  
For all this I apologize but I really wanted to give it a try, so I decided to just jump over the edge!_

_If you have any improvement suggestions, don't hesitate to tell me. And if you think the story just totally sucks - tell me!_

_**Story: **_

_Story is settled in the middle of season 3, after Jack __came back to the beach. It is pretty angry with a lot of smut, probably too much...  
But as much as I loved Jack's beautiful, quiet, soft and so meaningful "Because I love you" on the season finale, I always wished, that after all he went through and after all he did for her and she did to him, he would finally have pinned her against the next surface to show her his dark and passionate side, which is there. I know it!_

_Basically, I planned this as a one-shot. But in this chapter Jack is so angry and bad, I'm feeling a certain urgency to write a second chapter, in which he is more gentle and more...well, Jack like. But I really haven't decided yet, so..._

_**Long story short - I would love to hear from you guys!!  
Hope the story isn't too bad and you enjoy!**_

_**Best,  
liadra**_

_**T**__**wo Steps Behind**_

Kate watched him. He stomped on the wood. His movements were calm and focussed without any aggression. She wished she could say the same about herself. With an angry kick she broke the piece of wood in front of her.

Why didn't he take the chance to ask her? To tell her, that she had hurt him? Again he was acting like nothing had happened, like he hadn't seen her and Sawyer - together. Again he was acting like he didn't see her at all. She broke another branch, so hard this time that she felt a sharp pain along her leg.

She eyed him with caution, wishing he would finally say something, scream at her, call her a slut, whatever. She didn't care. All she wanted was a reaction, any reaction. But he seemed not willing to take the chance. Again.

All the way from the village she had tried to talk to him, to catch him alone, to bring on the subject. But he...he had just treaded her friendly, like nothing had happened. And she hated it. With a frustrated groan she finally let drop the wood she was carrying and did a few steps towards him.

Jack looked up, a questioning and somehow irritated look on his face.

"So you wanna talk about it?" She offered.

"Talk about what?"

"About the week...you spent over there, with them..."

He looked at her, hesitating for a moment.

"_Come on Jack."_ She thought. _"Do it. Say something. Let's get over this."_

"Well, after you left, I made a deal with them that if I took care of Ben they would let me go. I held my head down, did what I was supposed to, didn't ask any questions."

"And that's it?"

_Last chance. _

"That's it." He gave her a small nod and then he walked away.

Kate watched his back. His broad shoulders relaxed, head held up high. There was not the slightest movement on his muscular back. Nothing to show any of the tension, Kate was sure he was feeling. She bit her lip in frustration. Maybe he didn't care at all. Maybe he wasn't hurt. Maybe it didn't matter to him. She hated that thought too.

-------------------

Kate sat on the beach, motionless staring on the waves brushing her naked feet to just leave her alone again the next moment. The sun was putting small lights all over the watery surface like stars. God, she wished it would rain.

It's been a week later and Jack still hadn't talked to her. Although he was treating her friendly, Kate knew that he was avoiding her, if it was possible. She noticed it a dozens of times the last week. He was heading in her direction and when he spotted her, he turned around, pretending that he hadn't seen her. And Kate was getting sick of his behaviour. She had tried to catch him alone, to somehow bring on the subject. She had tried to give him the opportunity to express his feelings. But he never took a chance. Nevertheless he was still kind and friendly and polite and that was making her really, really miserable and angry.

The evening after their return to the beach, the whole camp had discussed the situation. They had talked about what to do about Juliet. They all wanted answers from her. But Jack stubbornly had told them that they would have to wait until she would be ready. And that he was going to make sure nobody would force her on this. Kate didn't understand him. She didn't understand why he was acting like this, why he wasn't talking to her. Instead he talked to Juliet.

The night she saw the two of them sitting together, eating and laughing after she had met him in the kitchen, she totally freaked out. The anger and jealousy so strong and unexpected, she almost felt like she was burning from her inside. She didn't know how to stop the awful feeling, how to ease the pain she felt almost physically. And before she even knew what was going on, she found herself in Sawyers tent, jumping him. She sneaked out of his arms as soon as he had fallen to sleep, feeling more miserable than before.

And as she walked down to the ocean to find some comfort and peace in the soft sound of the waves brushing against the beach, she stopped by Jacks tent. Not that she had expected him to be with Juliet. She just wanted to take a look at him. Silent tears were streaming down her cheeks as she watched him. He looked so peaceful, his handsome face relaxed, his breath calm and steady. Kate stood there for a few minutes, enjoying the absence of the cold distance between them.

The distance that was so undeniable between him and her since the moment they met Juliet and Sayid outside the house in which she had apologized for coming back.

She remembered the scene so well. And by the hurt and sad look on his face, she was sure he had understood that she hadn't only apologized for destroying his chance to get off the island but that she also and much more important was apologizing for hurting his feelings, when she slept with Sawyer. She should have said it right then and there. But when she saw the sadness and loneliness in his beautiful brown eyes, she couldn't bring herself to say the words, none of them wanted to here, because they were too painful. And so she missed her chance. And as soon as they were outside the house it was like he had turned a switch.

She grabbed a thin stick near her and broke it with an angry sigh. Everyday since they returned was terrible. They were sneaking around each other, pretending that there was nothing to talk about. But the tension between them was so thick, it could have been cut with a knife. And with every passing day she got more annoyed and frustrated.

Kate's head shot up, as she saw him. He was coming down the beach in her direction. He hadn't seen her yet. He absently looked down on the ground and as he raised his head and recognized her, it was too late to change direction. He hesitated a moment but then moved on. As he passed her he gave her a small nod and a _Hey_.

Kate jumped to her feet. "Jack, wait!" She said.

Jack stopped and watched her with a questioning look on his face. "Yeah?" He said.

She took a deep breath. "We've to talk."

"About what?"

"You know about what."

"Sorry Kate, I don't."

"Dammit, of course you know", Kate hissed.

He crossed his arms in front of his chest and rocked slightly back on his heels, his eyes becoming darker and kind of dangerous.

Kate shivered but was determined to go trough this, no matter what. "We have to talk about what happened...between me and Sawyer."

"What happened between you and Sawyer is none of my business, Kate."

"I know you saw us, Jack. And I know you are hurt and angry and..."

"I'm fine." He said in a calm voice. "No need to apologize or whatever this is going to be. It is your decision with whom you want to have sex and I have no right and no interest to judge you on your choice."

Kate starred at him, stunned, her mouth slightly opened.

"I have to check up on Sun. So if you don't mind..." He nodded briefly and went away, further down the beach to Jin's and Sun's tent.

Angry tears filled her green eyes and she stamped on the ground, while she had a hard time to stop herself from running after him and slap him in the face.

But dammit, he was not going to leaver her like this. If he didn't care, fine. But he was going to listen to her.

Kate watched him the whole afternoon from a save distance. Watched him checking up on Sun and then on Claire and Aaron. She watched him holding the baby, stroking his hair and laughing lightly with Claire.

She watched him eating dinner with Juliet later and she immediately felt the so well known jealousy, making her just angrier. She bit her lip when she saw him laugh on some of her comments, before he bent over, saying something to the blonde woman, making her smile brightly.

And Kate remembered the times when he had talked to her like this, when it was her, who made him laugh.

The sun was already going down when Sayid appeared and after they had spoken a few words, Jack stood up and followed him down the beach. She watched the two men talking. Both of them looked concentrated and kind of concerned. When they finally separated, Sayid went back to the camp, Jack further down the beach, finally alone.

Kate closed her eyes and held her breath for a moment. It was now or never. No matter what, she would say what she had to say. And this time he would listen to her.

She followed him in some distance until his strong figure disappeared behind a group of rocks. She sped up and when she finally reached the dark rocks, she saw him. He was standing there, turning his back towards her, his hands deep in his pockets. He was standing completely still, just watching the ocean, that looked like black velvet tonight, rolling onto the beach over and over again.

For a few moments she wasn't able to move or speak. She was just standing there, paralyzed, her gaze caught by the image in front of her, his dark figure building a sharp contrast to the moonlit night, like the rocks that separated them from the rest of the camp.

"_From the rest of the world._" She thought and shivered slightly.

"What do you want?" He said without turning around.

Kate jumped lightly. She hadn't thought he had noticed her. "I want you to listen to me."

"As I said, there is nothing to talk about." Jack turned around facing her, his voice still calm, almost emotionless.

"Yeah sure. If there is nothing to talk about, then why are you acting like..." Kate narrowed her eyes and watched him intensely with growing anger. She gestured towards him. "Like this. Like a ..." Her voice was loud now. Too loud, but she was really pissed off by his so damn well working self control.

"It's late." He said. "Go to sleep, Kate." And with that, he started to walk away, but this time she wouldn't let him.

She grabbed his wrist and forced him to stop and look at her. "You are not going to run away from me, Jack. You are not going to leave me like you did this afternoon."

"I don't want to hear it, Kate."

"But you have to. We both know that we can't...God Jack, we even don't talk anymore."

"We do talk", he said stubbornly.

"You damn well know what I mean."

"I don't know what you are expecting, Kate."

"I want a reaction. Just..." With a sigh, she brushed her curly brown hair behind her ears, the look on her face almost pleading now. "Just give me something, anything...because it is some of your business, Jack. And I am sorry that I...that Sawyer and I..." Her voice broke and for the first time she was afraid she might not be strong enough to go through this.

"Look Jack, I know you saw me... us. And I...Sawyer he..."

"Don't push me to this, Kate." His voice was quiet now, barely a whisper. "Don't."

Kate watched him intensely. His fists were clenched, his lips pressed firm together, in a desperate attempt to maintain control.

"I know I made a mistake. And I wished I hadn't slept with him. But I..."

"I said don't." Jack grabbed her arms, his fingers digging painful in her flesh.

And even so he was really scaring her now, Kate wasn't willing to give up.

"I am so sorry...I knew we had something going on. Something good and I am so sorry that I..."

"No! How dare you? I don't want to hear you're sorry because you screwed up something good between you and me." His voice was low and threatening. "Couldn't have been that good, right?"

"It was. And I know I deserve all of this, but please tell me what I can do to..."

"Nothing! There is nothing you can do, Kate. You and...him!" He spat the last word out so angry, Kate did a small step back.

"I can't get the fucking damn picture out of my head and it makes me so sick, Kate. So don't say you're sorry. It is not enough. Not this time."

Kate remained silent. What else then_ "I am sorry"_ she had to offer? Instead she stepped closer again until she could feel his raging breath on her skin. She stood right in front of him, starring in his dark eyes in which she missed the softness she used to find in there. And then she leaned forward and kissed him.

Jack responded immediately. Passionate, almost brutal he kissed her back. But just for a few seconds before he backed away.

"I said don't." He hissed.

But she wasn't about to give up. Not this time. "Jack please", she whispered, her eyes pleading with him.

"What do you want to tell me, Kate? There is nothing you..."

"I want to tell you that I'm sorry and that I didn't mean to..." She stumbled backwards, as Jack pushed her away.

"What? That you didn't mean to sleep with him? That you didn't mean to act like a little slut? But you did. So take responsibility for it and stop saying you are sorry."

Angry tears were burning behind her eyes. "Damn it Jack, I know you are mad at me. But you have no right to..."

"I am not mad at you", he spit out. "I'm...And maybe you are right and I have no right on you. But then what the hell are you doing here, Kate?"

She held his gaze. His eyes so intense and full of anger and rage, she wondered how long she would be able to do so. She had never seen him like this before. And it dawned on her, that Juliet was right.

"I broke your heart", she whispered softly.

And this one sentence finally was too much for him. His eyes grow darker and a sharp groan escaped his lips. Kate saw the muscles on his arms flexing, like he was trying to not grab her, to not slap her.

„I was too late", he finally said in a low and dangerous voice. "Didn't see the whole thing. So how did he fuck you, Kate? Was it hard and fast or soft and gentle? And how I'm supposed to do it...to make a difference, you know? So I will be remembered."

Kate starred at him. His gaze was so intense she couldn't look away, even if she would have tried. She almost expected him to apologize for his rough words. But he didn't. Instead he made a step forward until there was barley any space between them. Kate could feel the heat coming from his body. He didn't actually touch her, but his pure presence seemed to make contact with her body in every single place. He made her feel like she was burning just by standing there and watching her with his dark, now almost black eyes.

Kate couldn't do anything to stop her body from shivering. And she couldn't stop her mouth from letting out a small and lustful moan, waiting for him to make the next move.

He sounded almost threatening as he finally spoke: "This is your decision, Kate. I am not going to force you into anything. You still can go. And if you are still on your mind, you'll go, better for both of us. But if you stay...I won't be gentle. I can't."

Kate took a deep breath. Then she firmly placed her hands on his chest. "I know", she said softly.

"If you don't go now, there will be no turning back. If you don't go now I will not allow you to run away until this is over. So go, go right now!"

Kate never was that afraid before but also never that determined and excited. She slowly shook her head.

"I won't. I won't go, Jack. I left you once. I am not going to do it again."

"Silly little girl", he hissed between gritted teeth. "You should have run...for our both sakes."

The next moment she found herself pressed against his body. His right hand gripping a handful of her hair, forcing her head back, so he could kiss her. Unceremoniously he shoved his tongue in her mouth, kissing her hard. And Kate couldn't do anything else then to respond eagerly. His mouth so hot and demanding, there was no room for anything else then agreement.

He finally broke the kiss. Impatiently he pulled on the hem of her t-shirt. Her signal to take it off. And so she did.

With dark, lustful eyes he stared on her black bra. "This one too." He demanded. And so she did.

He inhaled deeply at the sight of her bare breasts but didn't take the time to worship her beauty. Instead he grabbed his own Shirt, pulled it over his head and tossed it on the ground.

Kate watched his broad chest in awe, her eyes travelling down his flat and muscular stomach. He was gorgeous. Every inch of him was just perfect. She could feel herself getting wetter only by looking at him.

For a moment he watched her, watching him. Then he bent down, roughly taking one of her hard nipples into his mouth, rolling the other one between his fingers, pinching it, while his other hand was placed firmly on her back, holding her close to him.

Kate closed her eyes and let out a loud moan. His stubbles were scratching her soft skin, his hands rough on the tender flesh, his mouth working her hard. And when he finally took one of her nipples between his teeth and let them sink in slightly painful, Kate cried out loud.

And she was kind of shocked that she liked it. Indeed she arched her back to bring her breasts nearer to his face, his mouth.

"That's it, Baby." He said hoarsely. "Give me your tits."

And so she did. And when he changed sides and did it again, she couldn't hold on any longer. With a desperate sigh she slipped her hand between them and cupped his erection through the rough material of his jeans, pressing softly.

In an instant he grabbed her hand and pulled it away. He than raised his head and looked down at her flushed and confused face.

"Not now." He said.

"Jack please." She begged him urgently.

He just shook his head and took a step back.

"Your jeans." He said. "Take it off."

His command made her gasp, finding his demanding tone a huge turn on. Slowly she unbuttoned her pants and shifted them down her legs.

"Panties too."

Kate paused and stared at him. For a brief moment there was the odd thought, that maybe he was going to take all her clothes and walk away. So she was forced to walk back to the camp naked.

If she wouldn't have been that aroused, she would have laughed at this silly and odd idea. He never would humiliate her like this. No matter how pissed off he was, he was still Jack. And so she hooked her thumbs inside the waistband of her black panties.

"Take your time." He growled. "I want to watch you strip off for me."

And so she did. Slowly she slid down the already soaked garment along her smooth legs. Him watching her like this, making her just wetter.

"Give it to me."

A small gasp escaped her lips and she looked at him in surprise. She followed his gaze to his hand, he was holding up to her.

"Jack" She whispered.

He didn't respond.

Kate's hand was trembling, as she finally handed him her panties.

He softly touched the fabric, where it was soaked with her juices and Kate felt slightly embarrassed but at the same time so turned on, she got problems to stand up straight.

"So wet." He murmured. Then he held it up to his face, sniffing, still holding her gaze.

"Mhm, smells like you really need it. Do you Kate?"

She nodded.

"Say it."

"I need it, Jack. I please..."

"Com'ere"

She stepped closer and groaned out loud, as she felt his hands moving down her sides, softly brushing her hips, before he cupped her ass in his palms, holding her close to his body. His still covered erection pressed forcefully against her lower belly. And as he began to rock slowly against her, she couldn't think anymore. Her hand slid down, trying to unfasten his jeans. But once again he stopped her, holding her hand firmly.

Kate let fall her head against his shoulder in frustration. "Please." She whispered. "I want to touch you."

"No. You are not allowed to. Not until I say so."

She leaned back a little and looked him in the eyes. She felt her typical rebelliousness rose. No one had ever spoke to her like this. "You can't tell me..."

"You are not allowed until I say so." He insisted. "Got it?"

His eyes were so dark now, he almost scared her. And for a brief moment, she wondered if she really should let him take her this way. Wondered if she was strong enough to let him take her this way. But at the same time she knew he was right. There was no turning back.

She lifted up her chin, a proud look on her face, when she starred back at him. His eyes still dark like the ocean was tonight, like black velvet. Dark and dangerous and at the same time absolutely irresistible.

"I got it." She said and leaned in to kiss him.

Their mouths were locked together and Kate moaned into his mouth when he slightly spread her legs with his knee. His left hand touched her inner thighs, slowly working his way upwards. Inches before he was there, where she wanted him so bad, he stopped and she made a frustrated noise, grinding her teeth into his shoulder.

Once again, he grabbed a handful of her hair and forced her to lay her head back, so she had to look at him. With a deep groan he bent his head down and literally attacked her neck. His unshaven cheeks scratching her skin as he put a hot, wet trace from her collarbone to her chin and higher to her ear. And as he sucked the soft spot behind her ear, she nearly lost it. Without thinking, her hands went down.

As she reached the bulge in his jeans, she so desperately wanted to touch, he caught her wrist in a deadly grip. Kate shivered as she felt his hot breath against her ear.

"As you obviously don't know what else to do with your hands and you are not allowed to touch me right now..." he whispered in a low tone. "Touch yourself."

Kate's head snapped back and she watched him with a disbelieving look on her face. "What?" She asked.

"Touch yourself", he ordered. "I want to watch you stroking your hot little pussy."

"Jack." She said, slightly embarrassed.

"Do it. I want to watch you, touching yourself."

Her entire body was shaking, when she looked at him. And she could see the challenge in his eyes. He wanted to find out how far he could push her, how far she would go. How much it would take until she finally would beg him to stop.

Kate swallowed hard. She wouldn't give up that easy. With a sexy smile she sank to her knees. Still looking up to him, as she gently touched her breasts, running her hands down her stomach and finally slid it between her legs. She slowly touched herself, dipped into the wet folds.

"No penetrating." He ordered.

"_God Jack"_ She thought. He knew her so damn well. Knew exactly what it took her to not yell at him, to not stand up and run.

"Your wish is my command." She said.

The whole time she watched Jack, his back resting on the rock behind him, breathing hard, starring at her. He was so obviously turned on by the image right in front of him. His hands were resting on his hips, his thumbs hooked inside the top of his jeans. And by the way, his hands were trembling, Kate could tell, he had a hard time to not touch himself.

Kate was fully aware of what this was about. He wanted her to totally give in on him. And as much as she wanted to scream at him, she wanted to please him too.

She never had thought she would ever do something like this. Kneeling in front of him, completely naked and working herself in ecstasy, while he was just standing there still clothed and watching her.

And she never had thought that it would be such a turn on. She so desperately wanted to bring him to the point, where he simply couldn't resist any longer and would finally unfasten his pants and touch himself. And hell, she would get him to this point.

She let out a little moan, deep and hoarsely, sounding almost like a cat. She bit her lip and worked herself a little harder. Jack swallowed thickly, still just watching her with an almost stubborn look on his face. God, his self control was amazing. She so desperately wanted him to give in. And he would.

"Jack." She whispered and placed a finger on her entrance. She couldn't wait.

Jack reacted immediately. He bent over and grabbed her wrist and Kate pressed her hot, wet center against his strong hand. She could see him shut his eyes and holding his breath, his face only inches away from hers.

"No." He said. "I said nothing goes in your pussy until I say so. And I can't remember, that I did." He watched her intensely, his hand still holding hers, still between her legs. She couldn't stop the shiver running through her body as she held his gaze.

"Did I, Kate?" He asked in a low tone.

Kate shook her head. "No, you didn't. But I couldn't wait. I..."

He came a little closer, his nose almost touching hers. "What is it with you, Kate? Why are you never doing what you are told to?"

And then his tongue darted out and he slowly licked along her upper lip. With a soft moan she opened her mouth for him. But Jack didn't take the invitation. He placed a trace of small opened mouth kisses across her cheek to her ear. Then he captured her earlobe between his teeth and bit down a little, which made her jerk and her free hand digging in his shoulder.

"We have to work on this." He whispered.

The next moment he stood up and took a step back. "Keep going." He said.

Kate stared at him. Her mouth was still slightly open, her hand still between her legs and she couldn't do anything against the tears, stinging in her eyes.

She wanted him back where he was seconds ago. She wanted him against her body, wanted to feel his hot breath on her already oversensitive skin, she wanted to smell his incomparable scent, so warm and sexy and full of promises. She wanted him so much, all of him.

"Jack please." She whispered as she shut her eyes to hold back the tears. And as she opened it again she saw him unfasten his jeans, slowly sliding a hand in there.

His eyes followed the single tear running down her flushed cheek. "God, you are beautiful when you are looking like this." He moaned.

And Kate couldn't help but felt so unbelievably happy. She smiled softly as she watched him, stroking himself. And she slowly picked up her one pace again, so much more eager to please him now.

They did so for a few minutes. Although they don't touch each other the heat between them was so intense, it was killing her to be not allowed to touch him and to see what exactly he was doing inside his pants. She really had to touch him and she really needed to be touched.

"Jack" She whispered. "I really need...I want to touch you and I...God, I am so close and I really need something in my pussy now. So could you please just..."

Immediately she had his full attention. His movements in his pants stilled, his eyes focussed on her face. He bit his lip and by the concentrated look on his face, Kate could tell, he was about to give in, to finally allow her to touch him, allow her to touch herself the way she so desperately wanted it.

She moaned softly, pleading him with her eyes and thought she would die, when he slowly shook his head. "Begging doesn't get you anywhere, Kate." He said.

Kate gasped slightly. She was so hot now and so needy, she almost felt ashamed. And him acting so dominant increased the already almost unbearable ecstasy. But the ecstasy was also mixed up with frustration and a certain kind of anger. She knew she wasn't able to do this much longer until she would start crying. She had to do something about it. Now. And she really, really needed to see him loosing control.

She held his gaze, while she dipped her finger deeper inside her wet folds. Slowly she brought it up to her face. With a seductive smile she licked her lips.

"Am I allowed to do this?" She asked and put it in her mouth. She heard him groan, breathing heavily. Kate never broke eye contact as she sucked her own juices from her finger. The taste so primal, so sexy and his reaction exactly what she had expected. Jack watched her mesmerized. And a small smile crossed her face as she finally pulled her finger out of her mouth. She sat back on her heels and watched him.

"Get up." He said, offering her a hand.

She took it, still smiling and stood up. Jack immediately pulled her close to him. His right hand firmly placed on her hip, holding her close to him, his left hand gripping her head. Then he bent down to kiss her.

"You taste good." He whispered hoarsely as he broke the kiss.

Kate was still breathing heavily as he held his right hand in front of her face.

"Which one?" He asked.

"What?" She gave him a confused look. Not sure, what he was talking about.

"It is your pussy, so it is your choice. Tell me with which of my fingers you want me to make you come, Kate."

Kate watched him in complete astonishment. She thought she would come right then and there without even being touched. She closed her eyes, trying to regain her breath.

As she opened them again he was still holding up his hand. "Tell me."

She took his larger hand between her smaller ones. Softly she put his index finger in her mouth and sucked on it, pleased by the lustful sound he made. When she released him she could see him fighting the smile crossing his face.

"Ok" he said. "Just this one?"

With a wicked smile she looked in his eyes and bent down one more time to capture his pointer finger between her lips.

Jack gently withdrew his hand from her mouth and slid it down between her legs. "There you go, Baby!" He said and pushed his fingers inside of her with one hard thrust.

Kate cried out and her head fell back in ecstasy, as he began to pump her. God, this was insanely good. It didn't take her long until she felt her release building. Her walls started to clench around his talented fingers and Kate moaned into his mouth.

Jack slowed down the rhythm and pulled out of their kiss. He watched her, his eyes so dark, his gaze so intense that for a moment she feared he would stop again, that he would torture her just a little longer.

"Jack please" She moaned. "Don't stop. I'm so close and I want to come. I really need to come. Please, please let me come."

"I will." He groaned, speeding up his movements. His fingers working her harder, faster, his thumb stroking over her sensitive clit.

Kate's forehead was resting against his shoulder. She was breathing heavily, her fingers digging in his shoulders. She closed her eyes as she climbed higher and higher, closer to the edge.

"Oh God, Jack." She moaned helplessly unable to think anymore.

"Come on, Baby." He whispered huskily. "Come for me."

And with a final deep thrust he pushed her over the edge.

Kate cried out loud, as her orgasm hit her so powerful, she was glad he held her firm against his body. Jack kept pumping her, allowing her to ride it out completely. And so she did. As she slowly came down from her high, he bent down to kiss her. She clinched onto his shoulders, her knees feeling so weak all of a sudden, she had no idea how much longer she would be able to stand up straight. As if he had read her mind, he effortlessly lifted her up. With a sigh she put her legs around his waist and crossed her hands behind his neck, her fingers stroking through his cropped hair.

He carried her about ten feet to a place that was surrounded by dark rocks on three sides, almost like a cave. But she still saw the ocean and the stars above her. Jack gently laid her down on the ground and stretched out beside her on his back.

Kate propped herself up on her elbow and looked at him. His eyes were still dark, the expression on his face still unreadable. She wanted to kiss him but something in his gaze held her back. Instead she let travel her eyes down his body. His broad shoulders, the strong arms. She gently touched his shoulder tattoo, followed the black lines with her finger, while she wondered what it would be like if he wouldn't be mad at her. If she had not hurt him the way she did. What it would be like if he didn't fuck her in anger but instead would make love to her.

With a soft sigh she pressed her lips against his chest, so he couldn't see the tears in her eyes. She gently captured one of his nipples between her lips and sucked on it, while scratching the other one with her fingernails. She smiled lightly against his skin as he brought his left hand to her head, diving into her curly hair, his other hand stroking up her lower back. She used her teeth a little bit, which made him jerk beneath her and her just smile a little brighter.

Kate couldn't help but his hardened length pressed against her belly, the small movements he made with his hips, the sweet little gasps and moans escaping his mouth made her wetter and hotter than before, made her want him so much she wasn't sure if she would survive this whole crazy night.

She slowly kissed her way down his chest, his taut stomach, stopped by his navel to dive in with her tongue, making him groan and his grip around her neck tighten. Kate looked down, where his erection was pressed against the rough fabric of his jeans, which seemed to be ways to small for him now.

God, he had been like this for so long now. It must be painful. She wished nothing more than to finally free him, look at him, touch him and taste him. She slid her hands down to his open pants, but then stopped. She looked up to him. He was still watching her.

"Am I?" She whispered softly.

"God yes!" was all he could manage.

Kate smiled at him in relief, almost thankful that he finally allowed her to touch him.

Slowly she moved her hand down and cupped him through his jeans. Jack groaned out loud and she felt herself getting wetter. She gently grazed him with her fingertips and as his hips bucked up against her, she knew she couldn't wait any longer. She reached to the top of his jeans and pulled it over his hips impatiently.

Jack suddenly sat up and pushed her hands away and then took his pants off, obviously as impatient as she was. Kate watched him. Her desire becoming stronger with every second. When he was done, he kissed her hard and passionate before he lay down on his back again, giving her full access to his most sensitive part.

Kate watched him and licked her lips at the sight of his rock hard member. He was big and so hard and so beautiful. With a soft moan she cupped him in her palm and was more than pleased at the way his cock twitched in response. Cautiously she dipped her thumb into the clear liquid pouring out of him and rubbed it gently over the swollen head. The pleasure she felt was so intense, she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

Slowly she stroke down his length, watching him. His eyes were shut, his mouth slightly open. He was breathing heavily. Kate increased the pressure a little bit and a deep groan escaped his lips. He bit his lip, eyes still shut. Kate smiled, so happy he finally let her do this to him. let her make him feel this way. And the look of pure pleasure on his face made her more eager to please him, than she already was. She bent down her head and closed her mouth over the tip, swirling her tongue around it, still watching him. With a breathless moan he brought his hand back to her head and forcefully gripped a handful of her hair again, before he finally opened his eyes and looked back at her. Kate held his gaze as she slowly took more of him in her mouth. Inch by inch she swallowed him.

"Fuck Kate" he grunted. His hips jerking beneath her.

She finally released him, only to come back the next moment to suck on his already oversensitive tip, wondering how something so hard could be so soft at the same time.

"_Soft like velvet."_ she thought and ran her tongue along his cock.

Jack's grip on her hair became firmer, more urgent and he bucked up against her. Kate loved the power she had over him right now. Once again she closed her lips around him, moved her mouth up and down, harder and faster than before.

His breath came out in quick shallow spurts now, his fingers were tangling in her hair and by the low groaning sounds he was making she could tell that he was close.

"It's enough." He hissed and pulled her up. He rolled her onto her back and bent over her, his breathing harsh and fast.

"Jack please, I want you to come." She pleaded, not ready to give up the power she had over him.

"I will. But not inside your mouth." He said and Kate felt her stomach jump in anticipation.

"I'm gonna fuck you hard, Kate" He said, his voice low and thick with desire.

"I know."

"So hard, that you will still feel me tomorrow with every step you make."

Kate knew he was saying the truth and she couldn't help, but was looking forward to it. "I know." She repeated hoarsely, her green eyes clouded with lust. His words turning her on so much, she could feel the moisture seeping out of her body.

Jack slid down a hand to her centre and looked at her as he felt how wet she was. She bit her lip to swallow the moan coming up her throat. God, she really needed him to sooth the aching need between her legs. She really needed him right now.

Jack brought his hand up to his face and looked at it. His fingers were covered in her juices.

"This is all for me, huh?"

She couldn't help but nodded frantically.

"That's good. You will need it."

Kate could smell herself on his fingers and she watched completely paralyzed as he took them into his mouth and sucked, like she had done before.

"So you are ready for me?" He asked.

She nodded again.

"You're sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure."

"Then get on your hands and knees."

Kate looked at him almost kind of shocked. His eyes were dark as ever, dangerous as ever and the anger was still in there.

She wasn't sure what he had on his mind. What he was planning to do. And she wasn't sure whether she would like it. She wanted him close to her, wanted to hold him, to be able to touch him. And she wanted him to hold her. She looked at him, hesitating.

"Jack" she whispered, her voice soft and uncertain, almost pleading.

"On your hands and knees, Kate. I mean it."

His voice was demanding and there was no softness in his brown eyes. And she knew there was no way to protest or refuse. He had warned her. He had told her that he won't be gentle, that he couldn't. He had told her that she should run away.

_And maybe he was right_, she thought. Maybe she should have run. But now there was no turning back. And even if there was, she wouldn't want to. If it had to be this way, if he needed it to be this way, she would oblige.

The expression in her green eyes was sincere, almost a little sad and then she turned around and got on her hands and knees slowly.

She shivered as he moved behind her. He ran his hands down her thighs, forcing her to spread her legs a little wider for him.

"God, you are beautiful." He murmured.

Kate held her breath, as he bent over, his body fully covering hers now, his lips against her ear. "So beautiful and all mine." He moaned and then he sucked on the soft skin on her neck. He sucked her hard, working her with his lips and his tongue. Kate moaned and leaned her head back against his shoulder to give him better access. Jack increased the pressure of his mouth and sucked her a little harder. And when he sank down his teeth and broke the soft skin she whimpered and jerked against him. She could feel him smile, before he blew lightly against her hot, wet skin to sooth her.

He then slid an arm around her and cupped her breasts in his hand, kneading it with the perfect amount of pressure and pinching her hard nipples, rolling it between his fingers, his head still on her shoulder, so she could feel his hot, tantalizing breath on the spot he had marked her.

He brought his other hand to her clit and Kate cried out as he started to move his finger over the sensitive nub in small circles.

She was panting now. And she hadn't thought it would be possible, but she was so hot now, that she was ready to beg him to do with her whatever he wanted to do.

With a desperate groan she grinded her hips into his, eager to make contact with his rock hard member.

"Easy Baby, easy." Jack groaned, stilling here movements with a firm grip on her hips.

"I can't."

"You really need it bad, huh?"

"Oh god yes. But I..."

He kissed his way down her back. With his opened mouth he placed sensual kisses along her spine, leaving a hot, wet trail there. As he reached her butt, he straightened up again, cupped her buttocks in his hands and squeezed it gently.

"Your cute little ass is irresistible, you know?"

Kate swallowed hard. She never had done it before. She didn't mind to but also didn't know if she would like it. But she was willing to try it with him. But not this time. Not on their first time. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It shouldn't be like this. Not the first time.

Kate couldn't help but it made her feel a little slutty, cheap.

And she knew he was fully aware of her feelings.

"Jack I...I am not sure if I want it to be this way. I..."

"I thought I made it clear, that this is not about pleasing you, Kate. And that I have no intention to make this exactly the way you want it."

Kate didn't respond.

"I told you, I wouldn't be gentle. You knew what this was going to be. You knew what you were doing, when you didn't run away. I am right, am I? You knew it."

She nodded. "Yeah, I did. I knew it."

Her whole body tensed and she whimpered as he slowly placed his cock between her buttocks and shoved himself in just a little to tease her.

Although she didn't want it, her body responded immediately and she moaned out in pleasure. As if she was unable to control her own movements, she pressed against him. But as much as her body responded, her heart was still aching. She never had expected their first time to be like this. She never had wanted their first time to be like this. Hell, she wanted him to fuck her pussy. She needed him inside of her. And he fucking knew it.

But if this was some kind of punishment, she would go along with it. She would let him fuck her ass, if he needed it this way.

She closed her eyes and bit her lip as he squeezed her butt roughly and pressed a little more against her entrance, not really penetrating her.

"Jack please" She finally whispered. This was their first time and it meant so much to her. He meant so much to her.

"Jack please, what?" He slowly pressed a little more. "What do you want?"

"I want you to...I need you, I..."

"How do you need me, Baby? Tell me!"

"I need you inside my pussy, please."

"You don't want me to fuck your ass?"

She frantically shook her head while she heard him chuckling.

"But you want me to fuck your pussy?"

"Yes please" was all she could manage.

"Like this?" he hissed and with one forceful thrust he buried himself deep within her.

Kate cried out loud in surprise and pleasure. She was trying to catch her breath again when she realized that he hadn't moved yet. He was giving her time to adjust to his size. He was waiting for her to signal him that it was ok to move. Kate couldn't help but smiled brightly, her heart melting away. He did care for her after all. Even if he was so determined to prove her and maybe himself the opposite.

Slowly she rocked back against him. And with a lustful groan, Jack gripped her hips harder and began to move. He pulled out of her almost completely and then he pushed back. So deep, she thought she might burst.

"God, you're tight." He moaned.

He was fucking her hard now. Hard and fast. And Kate wasn't able to think anymore.

"Oh god, Jack." She hissed out and bucked her hips against him, eager to meet his thrusts.

"You like it this way, huh?"

She didn't respond.

Jack stilled his movements and bent over her. "You like it hard, Kate, don't you?" He said against her ear, voice low and demanding.

"Yes, yes I like it this way. I...Oh god Jack, harder please. Fuck me harder."

And so he did.

"You are so deep Jack." She moaned.

With a low grunt, he pushed himself a little deeper.

"Can you feel me there, Kate? Can you feel me deep inside of you?"

"Oh god, yes. Yes, I feel you Jack. I...I'm so close, Jack. I want to come, please." She begged and when he completely pulled out of her, she cried out in disappointment and frustration.

Jack grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back until she was leaning against him, both of them still on their knees. He closed her arms around her and embraced her firmly, pressing her soft little body against his stronger and rested his head in the crook of her neck, breathing heavily. "Lay down" He said.

She laid down on her back and in the next moment he was on top of her and between her legs. With a deep sigh she closed her arms around him, so happy she could finally touch him, feel him all over her body, his delicious weight pressing her against the ground.

He balanced his weight on his elbows and looked down at her, his cock ready to enter her, but he didn't. He was just teasing her, flirting with her entrance, while he was watching her reactions on her face.

Kate slapped him lightly on his shoulder. "Jack please." She moaned.

"What?"

"Stop teasing. I really, really need you in me. Now."

He held her gaze, while he slowly pushed himself in her, almost unbearable slowly, until he was completely embedded inside of her. His eyes never left hers. And Kate moaned out in pure pleasure. This was almost to good, to much.

"Show me how much you are enjoying this, Kate." He gasped. "How much you are enjoying my cock fucking you."

He still watched her, while she crossed her legs around him and lifted her hips a little more from the ground which caused him to sink in her a little deeper. Her nails were digging in his shoulders and she was arching her back and bucking her hips against him.

"I love your cock fucking me." She said.

With a low grunt, he bent down and kissed her, swallowing the soft little moans of pleasure escaping her lips while he moved inside of her. His rhythm became harder and faster with every thrust. Their kissing was frenzy and passionate, tongues duelling without mercy. He was fucking her hard now, almost violently, but he never crossed the line. He was just hitting the right spots in the most perfect way. Kate was in pure pleasure now, ready and eager to give him whatever he demanded. She could feel the familiar sensation building up in her body, starting in her belly like a hot little fireball, becoming bigger with every thrust, taking more and more space until her whole body was on fire and thinking was a concept from another world.

"Jack." She moaned into his mouth.

He pulled out of their kiss and watched her, while he was fucking her with full force now. His eyes were burning into hers, like he could see inside her soul, like he was marking her there too.

"You are mine." He hissed between gritted teeth.

"This cute little ass is mine." He slid a hand beneath her and squeezed it tightly, lifting her up a little more.

"Your beautiful, sexy mouth is mine." With his thumb he followed the curve of her upper lip and she darted out her tongue to touch him, which made him smile. "I can come inside whenever I want to." He said his hand travelling down.

"Your gorgeous breasts are mine to play with whenever I want to." And so he did. He pinched her hard nipples between his fingers, making her arch her back up in pleasure.

"And your tight, hot little pussy is mine, I can fuck whenever I want to." And he did just that. Kate cried out his name, her nails scratching his back.

"It only gets wet for me." And with another hard thrust, he sent himself deeper in her and Kate thought she might burst.

"It is my name you are screaming when you are coming. And it is my cock buried inside of you, when you do so."

"Jack." She hissed out. Her eyes shut, back aching in ecstasy.

"Look at me." He said.

She slowly opened her eyes, which seemed to be an unbearable effort.

"You are mine" He hissed out while he was hammering into her.

"Yes, oh god yes!" She cried.

"Say it."

"I'm yours, Jack. I'm yours."

"Don't you ever forget this."

"I won't."

"Now come for me, Kate." He said.

And then her world exploded and she cried out his name, as her orgasm hit her so hard and powerful, that for a moment she thought the pure pleasure running through her whole body in hot, fiery waves was going to kill her. And she couldn't have cared less. She took one wave after another, with every thrust he made.

It seemed, like it would never stop. Jack was still moving within her and she wished nothing more than to feel him come inside of her. She wanted to beg him to come right now, with her. But speaking had become a concept of another world too.

"Jack please." Was all she could manage.

And with two forceful thrusts he joined her on top of the world, filling her with his hot release. His body jerked against hers over and over with every spurt coming out of him. And when it became to much, his head sank down on her shoulder, his teeth breaking the soft skin there.

Kate held him to her and cradled him while his body was still shaking with pleasure. Moments later they both came down from their highs and Jack collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily. Kate kept her arms around him holding him tight, enjoying the delicious weight of his beautiful, strong body on hers.

He slowly rolled on his back and gently took her with him, holding her tight to his body, her head rested on his shoulder.

"You are mine." He whispered in her hair.

-------------------

Kate woke up by sunrise. She stretched her body and let out a little moan. In her entire life she had never been this aware of her body. She could feel every single muscle. It didn't hurt. It was just more intense. She turned her head and wasn't really surprised that he wasn't there anymore. With a soft sigh, she sat up and brought her knees to her chest. It was cool, now his warm body wasn't beside her anymore. She folded her arms over her knees and rested her chin on top. This time he had left her. She wondered where he would be right now, how he was feeling right now.

A small smile crossed her face when she spotted the bunch of clothes, neatly folded.

He must have gone back to the place where she stripped them off last night, before he had carried her to this place.

Kate watched the tears clutching on her hands. She wished she could turn back time, to never let it happen, to never hurt him. He deserved better. Better than her.

Last night had really scared her. She wasn't scared by him. She was scared by the intensity and the passion. And most of all, she was scared by herself. She had never felt like this before, had never given so much from herself to someone else before. And it scared her to death. She wasn't the woman he should be with. She wasn't strong enough. She would hurt him again. Someday she would have to leave him. And Kate knew this would kill her.

-------------------

It was almost dark again, when she finally saw him. She had looked out for him the whole day. And now there he was. He rummaged around in his backpack and Kate stood for a few moments and watched him, her heart aching.

"Hey." She said, as she reached him.

Jack slowly turned around. "Hey."

He looked at her. Suddenly his eyes darkened and Kate followed his gaze. He was staring at the small marks on her neck and her shoulder he had left there the last night.

Jack raised his head and looked her in the eyes. "I won't apologize." he said.

"I don't want you to apologize."

"What do you want?"

"I thought I...we should talk, Jack."

"Ok, do it. Talk."

"What happened last night between you and me..." Kate hesitated, not knowing how she should say this. "I...I am not sure if I..." Her voice broke and she looked at him, her green eyes sad and glistening with tears. "It is to much, Jack." She whispered barely audible.

Jack wasn't surprised at all. He swallowed hard, swallowed down the soothing words he wanted to say. Words to assure her that everything would be ok. That he would take care of it, take care of her.

He had done this so often. And he was so sick of it. Sick and tired of all the excuses he was always finding for her.

"Last night was, what it is going to be. If you are mine Kate, you are done with running."

He was prepared for the fear showing up in her eyes. Almost panicked she took a step back. And even he had expected her to react like this, it hurt. But he wouldn't show her.

"Jack please, I can't..." She whispered.

"No. I'm not gonna say anything to make you feel better or safe. This time it is your turn, Kate." He gave her one of these looks, that made her always feel kind of ashamed and guilty and faced to a challenge, she would never be able to manage.

"If you still wanna keep running", he said slowly and calm. "Do it. Go. Run away, Kate. But I will not come after you. Not this time."

He pretended not to see the desperate tears moistening her eyes, as he watched her in silence for a few moments. He knew it would go this way. He knew it in the moment he saw her. It was the look in her eyes, almost like a wild animal being captured. He gave her a last sincere look, trying to hide how much it hurt him that she was too afraid to fight for them, for him. Trying to hide how much he needed her to fight.

And then Jack turned around and walked away, knowing that no matter what he had said, no matter what she was going to do, he would be always just two steps behind her. As long as it takes him to get her off this damn island. But he would do this without being noticed by her, like he always did.

-------------------

"Hey Freckles." Kate harshly whipped away her tears, facing Sawyer who was coming down the beach.

"Wanna have company?" He stopped beside her.

Kate shook her head. "Not now", she murmured.

Sawyer watched her intensely. "You're crying?" he asked. "It is because of Jack, right?"

She stayed silent, just looking at him.

"Damn it, I should have known."

Kate bit her lips, trying to hold back the tears, burning behind her eyes like fire.

"Hey", Sawyers voice softened. "It's okay. We still can..."

"No", she said.

"Why not?"

"I care about you. I really do. I always...kind of...loved you. You know that, Sawyer."

She hesitated and then looked him in the eyes before telling him and herself the truth for the very first time.

"But you are not him."


	2. Chapter 2

_**First of all, thanks for your reviews. I had so much fun reading your comments.  
And **__**I really, really appreciate this. **_

_**And as I mentioned, I just wrote a second chapter to take care of my personal need to make them happy!**_

_**So, here it is. Hope you enjoy!**_

_**Best,  
**__**liadra**_

There she was, back again. She was sitting in front of her tent, absently grabbing handfuls of sand to just let it rinse between her fingers. Jack didn't know which feeling was stronger - the relief, she finally was back, or the anger, she ran away into the jungle alone. She knew how dangerous it was out there. It was such a stupid thing to go out alone. Besides the anger that she did it and the relief, she finally was back, Jack felt kind of guilty. He knew she did it because of him. And no matter what she did, or how mad at her he was, the last thing he wanted was her getting hurt. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down, while he walked towards her.

"Hey", he said, when he finally reached her.

Kate looked up with a soft smile on her face. "Hey, yourself", she said.

"So, you are back?"

"Yeah, I am back."

He hesitated, slowly rocking back on his heels.

"Show me your shoulder." He said.

Kate's eyes widened a little in surprise. "How do you..."

"Claire told me."

They looked at each other for a moment until Jack finally spoke: "So can I have a look at it?"

"It is nothing." She said

"Kate, show me."

He saw her biting her lip and hesitating. With a frustrated groan he rubbed his eyebrow. "Please." He added in a quiet voice.

Kate finally sighed and took her shirt off, so Jack could take a look at her. He narrowed his eyes, as he saw the angry scratches on her shoulder. With gentle fingers he examined the wounds, while he was murmuring something under his breath, Kate couldn't understand.

"What happened?" He asked then.

"Uh...I stumbled."

"And?"

"And I felt down a slope...crashed against a tree..."

"Any other injuries?" Jacks tone was professional.

"No."

He stopped his examination and bent over a little, so he could see her face. "You are not lying to me, are you?"

Kate stared back at him. "No Jack, I'm not lying."

"What were you doing out there?" He asked then, ignoring the anger in her voice.

"I needed some time alone."

"So you ran away. Into the jungle. Alone."

Kate didn't respond.

"You know how stupid and dangerous it was, right?"

"Yeah, I know. But if you feel the need to lecture me, go ahead."

Jack rolled his eyes lightly but didn't respond. Slowly he began to put some oinment, Sun had given him, on her shoulder. "Isn't too bad. You don't need any stitches. It might hurt a little but in two or three days everything will be fine again."

"Okay", Kate whispered, while she was still clutching her shirt to her chest. "Thank you."

She bit her lip as Jack gently touched the marks on her collarbone, his teeth had left there two nights ago. "Look, I know I was pretty rough. And I..." He paused and looked at her for a moment. "I guess I kind of overreacted somehow. And I...well, things are not easy between you and me. And I understand if you are trying to avoid me. But you could have said something. I would have managed it somehow, to not invade your space, you know."

Kate swallowed hard. He was right. Things weren't easy between them. They never had been. "That's not why I went into the jungle. I...I just needed some time alone...to figure some things out. That's all."

"Yeah, I understand. But Kate, no matter how difficult things between you and me may be, I don't want you to hesitate coming to me, when you are injured, okay?"

She gave him a small nod, still avoiding his gaze.

"Look, we are stuck on this island. We can't..." Jack sighed. "Can we try to find a way to go along with each other?"

Finally she looked at him. "Are you suggesting we should try to be friends, Jack?"

"I am suggesting we should try to behave like adults."

"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked.

"I know that after all that happened things will never be the same. But we can still treat each other friendly and politely."

"Politely? Two nights ago, you fucked my brains out, Jack."

"And so did you."

Kate starred at him, as he slowly stood up. He handed her the ointment. "Two times a day", he instructed, before he went away.

-------------------------------------------------------

Slowly Kate approached the place where Jack and she had the most earth shattering sex, she ever had experienced. She held her breath and stopped, as she saw him. She had hoped to find him here after he had successfully managed to not invade her space the whole day. After sunset, when it became quiet on the beach, Kate had decided to go and look for him. She couldn't stand another sleepless night. It was driving her crazy. She had to do it now. Her heart was pounding. Her head was spinning and her stomach felt really sick. She never was this afraid before and at the same time nothing in her entire life had ever felt so right. Kate shut her eyes. God, part of her really wanted to run. But she knew she couldn't. This was the thing with Jack. He never let her just run away. She watched him for a moment. He still hadn't noticed her and Kate's heart was aching. He looked so lonely and sad while he was sitting there, starring absently to the dark ocean.

She didn't want to run anymore. She wanted to know, what it was like to be loved by someone like him. And she desperately wanted to see the look on his face, when she would tell him how much he meant to her, how much she loved him.

God, she wanted to see him smile at her again. She wanted to see the softness in his beautiful brown eyes again.

She closed her eyes and counted to five in silence, before she took the last steps towards him.

"You know that this whole _behave like adults thing_ is never going to work, right?" She said when she was only about five feet away from him.

Jack turned his head and looked at her. He hadn't heard her coming. He raised his eyebrows and watched her a few moments with an unreadable expression on his face. "Probably not" He finally sighed.

"What are you doing out here?" Kate asked him. "Trying to not invade my space?"

"I don't know." He shrugged his shoulders and looked back to the ocean. "I guess I just needed some time alone, too."

"I didn't run into the jungle to avoid you, Jack." Kate smiled lightly. "Well, not only to avoid you. I really needed to figure some things out. That's why I did it."

Jack nodded, still not looking at her. "Did it work?"

"Yeah, it did."

Jack didn't respond. He didn't even ask what she had to figure out. She had supposed this to be difficult. Kate sighed softly. But he was right. This time, it was up to her.

"I know that I hurt you. And I would do anything to tack it back. But I can't. All I can do is to say that I am really sorry." She whispered.

"Okay." He finally looked at her. His eyes were dark, his voice calm. "It's okay, Kate. It doesn't matter anyway."

"Yeah it does. It does matter, Jack. It does because...You have to forgive me, Jack." She said, so fast, as if she was afraid she might change her mind.

"What?"

"You have to forgive me."

"Kate I..."

"You have to. Please." Her beautiful green eyes were shimmering with tears now.

With a tired sigh, Jack slowly rubbed his forehead. "It is okay, Kate. I told you this morning."

"No, you told me we should try to treat each other friendly and politely."

"What's wrong with that, Kate? This island is too small. We can't avoid each other totally."

"Everything" Kate hissed out. "Everything is wrong with that."

"What the hell do you want from me, Kate?" His voice was louder now. "I told you it is okay. I am not going to fight with you. Not this time."

"I don't want you to fight me, Jack. I want you to listen, so I can tell you what I would have told you this morning if you wouldn't have acted like an idiot...telling me we should be polite" She said.

The look he shot her caused her to shiver. Maybe he didn't want to hear what she had to say. But she didn't went through the two hardest days in her live for nothing. She had made her decision.

"I didn't take the two days off only to run away from you, Jack. I did it to get some things in my head straight." Kate looked at him, the expression on her face desperate and determined at the same time.

"I am... I am running away. This is what I am doing, Jack. It is like my second nature. But you...you never let me just run away. You don't accept my poor excuses. And you never let me take the easy way out. And this is the reason why I am so afraid of my feelings for you, why I am always running away from you."

She took a deep breath and looked to the ocean that was still making the same soft and soothing noises as ever. Like she was not about to do the scariest and most dangerous thing, she had ever done before. Like she was not wondering what she was more afraid of - him telling her she should go to hell, or him telling her he loved her too. Like she was not about to risk everything.

But it was Jack. There was no easy way out. She turned her head and looked back at him. He was still siting there, motionless, his eyes watching her intensely, the expression on his face still unreadable.

With a deep sigh, she brushed a brown curl out of her face. "I mean I...God Jack, We are so different. You are always doing the right things. And I... I am not as good as you ... I am not as brave, not as strong as you are. I'm not the woman you should be with, Jack."

"This is what you figured out, Kate? And therefore you needed two days?" he asked, his voice sounding almost a little angry now. "This is bullshit, and you know it. And I never want to hear you talking about yourself like this again. You are the friendliest, most caring, bravest and strongest woman I ever met. And you are not just always running away. That's not true."

"Would you let me finish this time, Jack?" She interrupted him impatiently. "I'm just trying to tell you that I..." Kate wrenched her hands and looked to her feet. "Part of me really wants to run, as fast and as far as I can. But somehow things have changed. And it's driving me crazy and I don't know what to do..."

She looked up to him again. "All I know is that I can't run this time and that I don't want to."

Jack opened his mouth a little, like he was about to say something. With a confused look he starred at her, trying to proceed what she had just said. Part of him had expected she would tell him, that she didn't want to see him anymore, or that she finally had chosen Sawyer and that she was sorry.

"What are you...Are you trying to tell me you..." He finally said, watching her in complete disbelief.

Kate crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Believe me, it scares the shit out of me, but it is like you said. I am yours. No matter how far I am running."

Jack watched her, still not sure, if she was really meaning what he was thinking she was. But there she was, standing right in front of him. Her arms crossed defensively, the look on her face almost like it was all his fault. If he wouldn't be that shocked and confused, he would have laughed about how cute and adorable she looked.

"Okay", he said instead. "I definitely don't want to get this the wrong way. So, what do you mean, Kate?"

"I'm yours" She said. Her lips were quivering now and her green eyes were getting wet as she hold his gaze. "If you still want me", she whispered.

Jack's heart skipped a beat. She looked so vulnerable and so insecure, he had to force himself to not pull her into his arms right now and kiss away all her fears. But this time, they would work it out before the passion was going to wash away any rational thought.

"You sure?" He asked her.

Kate nodded. "I am sure."

"Of course I want you, Kate. I always did", he said huskily.

She nodded again, but still don't move. Instead she put her arms a little tighter around her body and rocked lightly back on her heels.

Jack smiled at her softly, his head still dizzy from the unexpected turn this evening had made. "So, does this mean we can skip the polite part?" He asked her.

Kate rolled her eyes at him, before she cleared her throat. "I...if I...we...I mean, what is this going to be...you know, this thing between you and me. I mean...this thing...us together. What will it be like?"

He had never seen her so unsure before. She was absolutely adorable, starring at him, like it was his fault that she felt so uncomfortable. Jack couldn't stop himself from teasing her a little. He raised his eyebrows and looked at her for a moment, like he really had to think about it.

"Well", he then said. "There is just one thing you really need to know. If you are mine, I am the boss. Plain and simple."

She starred at him a second and when she saw his mouth twitching in an attempt to hold back a grin, she stomped onto the ground. "Dammit Jack, that's not funny!"

"It is a little bit funny." He said still smiling. "You really need a definition?"

Kate flushed a little more. "I guess I do."

As he noticed that she really didn't know what to expect and how unsure and afraid she really was, his heart was melting. This was such a big step for her.

"Well", he said, while he tried hard to stay sincere and not just smile brightly by the confused and distressed look on her face. "It means you will move some of your stuff into my tent and I will move some of my stuff into yours. It means that you are not allowed to run into the jungle alone anymore. If you are planning something so stupid, you have to tell me before, so I can stop you or at least make sure you are going to be safe."

"Okay", she said. "I can live with that."

"I haven't finished yet. You have to be nicer to Juliet. She is my friend and I will still eat dinner with her sometimes."

Kate narrowed her eyes and the expression on her face made it clear that she was really thinking hard, whether she would agree to this condition.

"All right", she said. "I will try to be nicer to her. But if she thinks she can..."

"Kate."

"I will try."

Jacks look was sincere now. "And maybe you could try to cut off the amount of time you are spending with Sawyer a little." The look in his chocolate brown eyes was insecure now, too. "At least for the next time", he added almost pleading.

Kate took a deep breath. "You don't want me to stop spending time with him, totally?"

He looked up to her and Kate couldn't see the slightest hint of anger in his eyes. What she saw was the so familiar softness she had missed so much.

"Of course I want you to. But I would never demand this from you. I know how much he means to you. I will get over it, but I...maybe I will react a little sensitive for a while when it comes to him", Jack added quiet.

"God, I love you" she whispered.

They looked at each other for a while in silence, his eyes telling her everything she needed to know. Jack finally cleared his throat and smiled. "And we will go out for a date every Saturday night."

Kate couldn't help, but laughed. "Dates? Here? How will we do that?"

"I am the guy, so let me worry about this. All you have to do is to look pretty. And now come here", he said in a soft and sexy voice.

Feeling much better now she had really done it, Kate went to him. Slowly and still smiling she knelt down between his legs. Immediately she felt his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"So, what are your conditions", he whispered, his warm breath caressing her cheek.

"I don't know. But stop talking and kissing me would be a good start."

"That's it?" He asked smiling.

"I'm an easily satisfied woman."

"You know that telling your new boyfriend you are easily satisfied is not the smartest move, right?"

"Shut up, Jack", she said and kissed him. It was a soft kiss, full of promises. And as they finally come up for air again, Jack lent back a little and looked at her.

"Could you say it again?" He whispered.

Kate gave him a questioning look, still to dizzy from their kiss to realize what he was talking about. A soft smile graced her lips, as it dawned on her, what Jack wanted to hear again.

"I love you." She said while she watched him intensely to see the look on his face she so desperately had wanted to see. His beautiful brown eyes became a little darker and besides the typical softness she was used to find in there, there was something new, deeper and stronger. It was like he allowed her to look inside his soul. Kate shivered lightly, while she held his gaze. This was the most beautiful moment in her entire life.

Jack reached out and stroked some curls out of her face. "I love you too, Kate", he said hoarsely. He slowly bent over and kissed her. With a happy sigh, Kate parted her lips to let him in. They started slowly, sensual but became more and more passionate until Kate finally sat on his lap, her legs wrapped around him, Jack pressing her close to his chest, while he was kissing her. As they finally broke apart and gasped for some air, Jack buried his face in her hair.

"So are we okay now, Kate?"

She gently pulled his head away a little, so she could look him in the eyes.

"You know me, Jack. And you know that, if we ever will make it off this island, it is going to be difficult. Maybe I have to..."

He gently put a finger over her lips to stop her. "I know. We will handle it somehow. We will find a way to make it work."

Kate smiled at his eager voice, so determined to convince her that everything would be okay. Then slowly the expression on her face became sincere. "I'm afraid, Jack."

"Me too."

"You are not supposed to say this." Kate laughed softly.

"What am I supposed to say?" He asked and kissed the tip of her nose.

Kate smiled and slapped him lightly against his chest. "Say that everything will be all right."

Jack slowly bent over and took her face between his hands. "I love you. And everything will be all right, Kate."

With his thumb he gently brushed away the single tear in the corner of her eye.

"All right." She whispered. "All right."

And then he kissed her. With more desire and more need than before. His hands slipped under her shirt, travelling up and down her back, while they continued their kissing. Kate could feel him grow harder beneath her. She slowly begun to rock against him and smiled lightly, when she felt him groan into her mouth in response. The next moment she felt him tug impatiently on her shirt and she eagerly lifted her arms up so he could take if off. He grabbed her hips, lifted her up and pushed her back a little, so he could have a look at her.

"God, you are beautiful." He said. "The last time I didn't take my time for this."

Kate swallowed hard, as he gently touched the bit marks on her neck.

"I'm sorry" He whispered.

"No, you are not." She said.

Jack backed away a little and grinned wickedly. "Well, I am a little bit sorry. Usually I am not that rough. But dammit, I was so made at you, Kate."

"Do you still have the picture in your head?" Kate asked in a quiet voice.

"No, not really."

She looked at him in surprise.

Jack smiled softly. "Since two days it is replaced by a gorgeous brunette, kneeling in front of me, touching herself."

Kate couldn't help, but flushed. "You really liked that, huh?"

"Definitely."

"Well, we could add some more pictures to your mental gallery..."

"Yeah, sounds good.."

He kissed his way up her shoulder to her chin, across her cheek, to finally capture her earlobe between his lips.

Kate sighed deeply and inhaled his familiar scent. He smelled like the ocean and soap and ...Jack.

He brushed away her hairs, to let his lips move to the back of her neck. "Dammit" he hissed out, as he saw the marks there. He remembered bending over and attacking her skin, while he was fucking her from behind. "I was definitely carried away." He whispered and touched the scratches on her skin gently with fingers.

"Jack", Kate asked in a teasing voice. "Are you trying to tell me that, if you are not mad at me, you will be boring in bed?"

He couldn't help, but laughed lightly, before he bent down and sucked the sensitive spot behind her ear, his hands gently kneading her breasts through the thin fabric of her bra. "You think this is boring?"

"No" Kate moaned out. "Not at all." She pulled on his head to bring his lips to hers. "I just wanted to make sure", she whispered, grinning wickedly.

"Don't worry about that." Jack smiled and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I think I'm able to catch up with your adventurous moods."

"Sounds good." She moaned.

"lt is going to feel even better." Jack said.

As a result to his words she quivered in his arms and forced him to shift their position a little to stop them from falling over. Jack let out a groan as a sharp piece of rock were digging into his palm.

"I'm sorry" She whispered.

"It's okay." He said. "But speaking of a bed and adventurous things, it would be great to have one right here."

"We could go to my tent." Kate offered.

"No."

"Why not? It would be a lot more comfortable, than here."

"First, I don't think we will make it all the way back before I will be inside of you. Second, I want you to be able to scream as loud as you will feel the need to."

Kate shivered, his words making her wetter with every second. "Sounds good, too." She moaned.

Jack took a deep breath, as he felt her hands slipping under his shirt. She was kissing him passionately, while she let her soft, small hands ran all over his back and then she pushed him away a little, so she could do the same on his chest and down to his stomach until she reached the top of his jeans. She pulled out of their kiss and looked at him, her green eyes cloudy now.

"Take it off." She demanded.

Jack hadn't tossed his shirt to the ground yet, when he already felt her mouth on his chest. With a soft moan he laid back his head and buried his hands in the mass of her curly brown hairs, while she left a hot wet trail from his chest up to his shoulder and to his neck.

"Just one in return." She whispered before she let her teeth sink lightly into the scratchy skin.

Jack groaned out and pulled her closer and Kate began slowly to rock against him.

"How's your bedroom like, Jack." She said in a low and sexy tone, while she grinded her hips a little harder against his.

"What?" Jack asked with a confused expression on his face. And Kate smiled at his obvious inability to think straight at the moment.

"Come on, Jack. Concentrate." She whispered between tiny little kisses. "Your bedroom. I wanna know what it looks like."

"Why?" He asked breathlessly.

"I just want to know"

"Well, it got a bed in it." He answered.

"Yeah, I guessed that." She laughed. "But what else?"

"There is not pretty much else."

"There must be something else." Kate insisted. "Some pictures, or candles, books, records." She gave him a curious look. "Any of the stuff people usually have in their bedrooms."

"Actually none of this." Jack said, while his hands unclasped her bra.

Kate gasped while she was watching him. "Do you have your clothes tossed around all over the room?"

"No. It is pretty tidy, I guess." Slowly he pushed the straps down her shoulders. "Why are you so obsessed with my bedroom?" Jack asked, while he looked at her bare breasts in pure fascination.

"Besides the obvious..." She moaned, as he gently touched her already hard nipple with his thumb. "It is your most private room, so I just wanted to know what it is like."

Jack shrugged his shoulders. "I am not spending so much time in it, so..."

"Yeah, but there must be something besides the bed. Something that is more you, you know."

Jack thought for a moment. "Well, there are some medicine books I am reading for work."

Kate backed away a little and laughed. "You are such a nerd, Jack."

Suddenly he flipped her over and laid her down on the ground. Just to be on top of her in the next moment.

"I nerd, huh? You haven't asked me what's in my nightstand." He said in a low voice.

"What is in your nightstand?" Kate smiled. "Kinky stuff?"

Jack grinned back at her. "Tons of kinky stuff."

With a soft laugh she slapped against his shoulder. "Liar. I bet you don't owe a single piece."

"You are wrong", he said and kissed her, while his right hand was travelling down her stomach to the button of her jeans. He slowly began to unfasten it and Kate arched up a little to make more contact with his hands.

He sat up and pulled her jeans over her legs, while he was watching her intensely. Kate groaned as he came back to rest between her legs. Slowly he began to thrust against her, still holding her gaze. He looked so focussed and concentrated, Kate couldn't help but smiled. "All right then" She whispered. "Tell me what kind of things are in your nightstand, Jack."

Jack thought hard about this. To be honest, he had no idea what exactly was in there. Probably not much more than some pills for a headache and a box of tissues for his usual lonely nights.

"Lots of stuff" he answered and grinded against her a little harder, trying to make her forget about the subject.

But Kate wasn't about to drop it. "Yeah, but what kind of stuff?" She asked teasingly.

"You really wanna know, huh?" He said and than kissed her again, trying to make some time. He really had to come up with something.

"I so do want to know." She smiled, sliding her hand between their bodies and cupping his erection through his jeans.

Jack groaned out loud. "Well, for example I've got handcuffs in there."

"Handcuffs? I don't believe you, Jack." She squeezed him a little tighter.

"Doesn't matter anyway." Jack moaned. "You will see it, when we are back and I handcuff you to my bed."

"You will?" She asked in a husky voice.

"I will. Just to get your hands out of the way. You scratched me pretty bad too last time, you know. And besides - it will be a great picture for my mental gallery."

"You deserved it." She moaned, as he pinched her nipples lightly. "The scratches, I mean."

"I did." Jack smiled down at her. "And I liked it anyway."

"So I am allowed to do it again?"

"You are allowed to do anything you want, Baby."

"Maybe I will be faster and before you even know it, you will be the one, handcuffed to your bed." Slowly she licked her lips and then smiled wickedly. "But I guess I will bring my own handcuffs, cause I still don't believe you have anything like that in your drawer."

Jack didn't respond. Indeed he never was really attracted to sex toys very much. But some handcuffs would be nice. And he wouldn't have to wait until they were back home. There were some in the marshal's case. And it would be so much fun to blow her away with that next Saturday on their first date.

"You know if we are back..." Kate hesitated for a moment, the look on her face turned into concern, as the unlikelihood of really being with him in his bedroom flickered through her mind.

Jack could sense her concerns immediately. "We will find a way, okay" He whispered softly, the look on his face sincere now.

Kate looked at him and to her surprise, she believed him. There was not the slightest doubt, that they would find a way somehow. He wouldn't leave her alone with all her mess. "Yeah, I know." She said and then she kissed him.

As he broke the kiss minutes later Kate's heart was melting when she saw the soft and reassuring look in his eyes. She gently touched his cheek and smiled at him.

"What is in your bedroom?" Jack asked quietly.

"I actually don't have a bedroom." She said. "I spent most of my nights in motels or in my car."

"Well then, when we are back home you can decorate mine, if you want to." Kate blinked away the tears stinging behind her eyes. She loved him for that. That he was acting like they could go back to a normal life, like she could decorate his bedroom with pictures and candles and all the stuff, like a normal girlfriend would do.

"Maybe I will paint it pink." She said smiling.

"As long as you are in there, I don't care which colour it is, Kate." Jack moaned and then he slid his hand in her panties and touched her, where she needed him the most.

Kate moaned out hoarsely, as he pushed a finger inside her and arched her back to meet his thrusts. Jack kissed her, while he added a second finger. Their kissing became more passionate, his thrusts harder.

"Jack" Kate whispered after a few minutes into his mouth while she pushed against his shoulder. He lifted his head and looked at her, his eyes dark now with passion and desire.

"I can't wait this time."

Jack softly brushed a curl out of her face, still holding her gaze, his brown eyes so full with all his love for her and Kate thought she would start crying right now.

"Please don't let me wait" She begged him.

"This time, your wish is my command." Jack said before he sat up and took off her panties and his own pants too. Seconds later he was on top of her again. They looked at each other in complete silence, as he slowly connected them. And then he began to move. Slowly they rocked against each other, whispering sweet nothings into one another's ears while they were making love. Their bodies moving against each other, hot skin against hot skin. Desperate breathes and passionate moans filling the air, mingling with the soft sounds coming from the ocean.

"Jack" She whispered after a while. "I am close."

"I know." He said, while he were looking at her. Her cheeks were flushed, her green eyes shimmering and her lips shivering lightly. She had never been more beautiful than right now.

"I need you to..." She moaned, pleading him with her eyes.

"I know." Jack whispered and then he began to thrust a little harder, deeper.

"Oh god, Jack." Kate whimpered, as she felt him deep within her. "Make me yours. Now. Please."

He gave her three more deep thrusts and she finally screamed his name, as her world exploded. Jack held her tight while he kept moving inside her. He watched her, as she slowly came down from her height.

"Jack" She whispered the only word that seemed to be left in her mind. The only word that seemed to really matter.

"Come on, Baby" He groaned while he moved faster now. "One more time."

"I can't."

"We both know how tough you are. Sure you can." Jack said, his own release building steadily. "For me. Please" He begged her.

Kate didn't exactly know where her first orgasm ended and the second started. But there she was, on top of the world again. And this time Jack was with her.

Minutes later, as the both calmed down, he rolled off of her and pulled her into his arms. He looked at her and with a knowing smile he gently brushed away the tears from her face. "I love you." He whispered softly.

Kate turned her head and placed a kiss inside his palm. "I love you too" She whispered back, before she relaxed in his embrace.

She never had felt safer, than right now, here in his arms. And she never had felt more free than in his arms.


End file.
